Friday, March 5, 2010

Mothering Boys

I used to think little kids said the craziest things but I'm finding that my teenagers crack me up. So...the other day, we're driving home and I took a new super-secret way home from the store. My younger son asks where we are. His older brother says: C'mon! You're a guy. We don't ask directions. We have it built in!

*eye roll*

Besides having my own boys, I'm the scoutmaster for a troop of scouts. The youngest is 13. The oldest is 17. We do camp outs six times a year, including a week every summer. These are all kids from my church. Now normally, they'd monitor their mouths around a grown up woman who also hangs out with their moms from time to time. Not with me. The things I hear... They're just not ashamed to talk about anything in front of me, from crotch-rot from not changing their bathing suit to stomach problems that have the whole troop running in fear. I'm often amazed at the things they feel free to say--of course my own kids feel free to say just about anything, so it might, in part, be that.

Take this conversation...This past weekend at the camp out, one scout went trooping through the cabin in his boxer-briefs because his clothes had gotten soaked in a snowball fight. He was going through the main room from the dryer to the bunk room (I pretended not to notice so I didn't embarrass him -- of course I should point out, it was my kid so he probably wouldn't have cared). He gets to the bunk room and one of the scouts starts giving him a hard time since he's only in his boxer-briefs. My darling son says to him: Oh shut up [scout's name]. You have the same junk as me, only smaller.

And here's some advice... It doesn't matter how young your child is, never tell him your age! I mean it. NEVER. You know why? Because 13 years later, he will remember even though he was 2 when you told him. It's the first and most important math he'll ever learn and he will never forget. Neither will you. Because he will mention it often. Just to bug you. At the checkout lane. When the nice lady might have carded you.

And finally...brush up on your spelling and English skills. You will be tested.
A: Mom?
B: Yes?
A: It's a P word. It means a lot.
B: Plethora?
A: You know that word?
B: Uh, yeah.
A: And it means the same as copious.
B: Pretty much.
A: Hmmm... Okay. It's another P word. Means a coating.
B: Are we doing your English homework?
A: Umm...

For more on mothering boys...character boys anyway and authoring them, not mothering them, check out my Writer's Evolution post today.



Bronwyn Green said...

*You have the same junk as me, only smaller.*

I'm STILL laughing my ass off over this. I love that the boys don't feel the need to censor themselves around you. Your boys are awesome!!!

Ashley Ladd said...

I've mothered 3 boys and 2 tomboys. Only now one wants to be a girl. This mothering stuff is tough, even after they're adults.