Monday, July 20, 2009

Four Words

You know...I read Cosmo faithfully. In fact, I finally got a subscription since I was buying it off the newsstand every month. It's my favorite magazine, but I’m thinkin’ the August issue of Cosmo is wrong on one of their articles. The article is: Cheatproof Your Love — With 4 Words. Do you want to guess what those words are? My guess was: I will kill you. I mean, the threat of death ranks right up there with the threat I gave my husband before we ever married. It was: I will leave you. Period. That’s what I told him. If you ever cheat, I will leave you. So far it’s worked. Of course if he wants to be rid of me, probably the four words 'I will kill you' work better. Or maybe Lorena Bobbitt’s six word option: I will cut off your penis. I’m not much for gore, so I don’t think that would work for me.

So what did Cosmo say? The four words are: You are so hot. Excuse me? Fwuh? Okay, so I guess those were the words that Hunter chica used to lure away John Edwards from the straight and narrow path. She complemented his ego. Guys want to hear they’re uber-attractive. Those words go right to their penises. It seems to me that they would go right to their big head too as a free ticket to flaunt their sexuality to the masses of women out there who will most assuredly recognize their hotness, as well.

Hmm…maybe, my words and those words should be coupled together. I find my husband attractive and he knows it. I can’t say I’ve ever used the words ‘you are so hot’. I can guarantee if I did there would be subtext. ‘Cause he knows I don’t share.


Bronwyn Green said...

Silly, silly, Cosmo..."I will leave you" is far more effective than "You are so hot."

Perhaps you should consider a rebuttal article. ;)

Molly Daniels said...

Amen Bron! My hubby would LAUGH if I ever told him that!

But lately, my 5-yr-old has been telling me that I'M hot. And I've decided to keep him around, so maybe it works H-W instead of W-H???

Dakota Rebel said...

Hmmm, I always tell the Mr. he is so hot. I think that I will kill him if he ever cheats on me is implied.

I get pissed when he puts my pans in the dish washer. He doesn't even want to imagine what I'd do if he did something like cheat on me.


Anny Cook said...

Hmmm. I never used any words. I think intent was always assumed... first I will cut off your penis...then I will leave you.

Ashley Ladd said...

I haven't read Cosmos in a long time. I'm not sure what you just told us will inspire me to do so.

Great going with all your book releases.

Simone Anderson said...

Wow. Yeah, "I will leave you after inflicting bodily harm" is much more effective than "You are so hot"