Thursday, February 12, 2009

How Much Is Enough?

So on Monday, I posted about being the Patsy of teenage sex. I’m really not that bad. I’ve just been a long believer of my kids having the information they need—and that includes knowing my expectations for them. My husband and I have been pretty clear with them on that since they were young. Drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, sex…there are no questions.

What brings this up? My ninth grader has been having sex ed class for six weeks. Six weeks! Sheesh. We had one hour when I was in school. Times have changed. Some schools are having ‘Don’t have sex’ classes. Sex Ed or No Sex Ed? I think I’d prefer they had the Sex Ed class. The other while a nice ideal, seems unrealistic. Kids need the info to keep them safe and though times have changed, many parents still don’t tell what they need to. Do they think if they don’t mention sex that their kids won’t do it? I don’t know. Okay, so I nearly had a heart attack when my son came home and told me the teacher had brought in a fake penis and demonstrated how to put on condoms. Then he told me that the teacher showed them the female condom and showed how it worked with the penis.

I shouldn’t have asked the smartass question about diagrams.

To be clear, I’m not upset about the amount of information the kids are getting in that class. I’ve also been a long time believer that curiosity is a big factor in early sex. Alleviating the factor of curiosity is a good thing. But I’m a realist. Sex happens. I can only hope that they’ll heed me and the code I’ve instilled in them since they were young and wait.

But I still wonder…as far as teaching, how much is too much?

Have a great day.



Kelly Kirch said...

Sheesh! I don't have one that old yet but she's in sixth grade and they talk about it there too. In fact, my third grader said something about a special class they took. Fortunately they didn't tell her anything I hadn't already. But I've had long conversations with the older one, including google and wikipedia displays of what's what and why it's dangerous to just "mess around". She was sufficiently disgusted and promptly told her boyfriend to keep his hands to himself.

Every year it gets more complicated but I try to demystify sex so it doesn't become the taboo she wants to explore.

Cindy Spencer Pape said...

better they put it on correctly, I guess.

Dakota Rebel said...

My daughter is still pretty young. She is in 5th grade and their sex ed class wasn't so much about sex. It was a 'health' class that talked vaguely about disease, but focused more on body parts and puberty and stuff. Even some of that squigged me out a little. I remember being young and grossed out by those talks.

But luckily my daughter is very smart, so when I talk to her about sex, drugs, and other things I don't want her to ever partake in (:D) she understands most of what I am talking about.

It is important that kids are aware of safety measures, and why they are important, but it's so hard for parents and educators to find the line between enough and too much information.

Trial and error seems so dangerous, but what other options do we have at this point?


Anny Cook said...

Where my granddaughter attends school, the FOURTH grade girls have been caught giving blow jobs. Kids are maturing much, much earlier.

Molly Daniels said...

Forgive my ignorance...there's a FEMALE CONDOM??

Yeah, my daughter is still grossed out by the topic and she's in the 8th grade:)

It's all about keeping the lines of communication open!

Having a little brother ten years younger than she was a good reminder of 'why you wait until you're married'!

Bronwyn Green said...

One of my daycare kids is having "Don't Have Sex Ed." She's upset because all they talk about is not to have sex - for hours on end.

I asked her if they talk about disease and pregnancy prevention and she said that they don't. What gets me is that this is a public school - I thought disease and pregnancy prevention was supposed to be mandatory. I'm glad your son is getting more thorough information.

We have a deal that if she ever wants to know anything, she can ask me or her mom.